Let’s start at the very beginning, the very best place to start. [Which ones of you just sang that?] Thursday was a brilliant holiday. Daniel and I received two boxes from my folks [Darren and Ginny] and that was absolutely exciting. They were full of yummy smelling soaps, triscuits, girl scout cookies, Hershey’s chocolate syrup [for Daniel], the Sunday comics and Parade [for me], and some super special hand scrub, cleanser, and lotion that completely make your hands feel like silk. That was from our other “Mom”, Kris! She said it was to counter the farm work. Ha ha! We are truly blessed and thankful for a few small pieces of Oregon home. Daniel had a long conference in the board room downstairs so I spent most of my afternoon reading an NLP book that I’m borrowing from Simon. Who by the way, along with Jan had fun teasing us about our American goodies. I actually enjoy talking with Simon about differences between the two countries we come from.
St. Patrick’s Day also happens to be Pat’s birthday so that evening Jan had planned to take her to dinner. We were first told we could not bum a ride into town. It’s so hard to tell when Jan is joking. We began searching for specific directions on how to walk to our nearest pub. Our one hesitation is how dark it gets here without street lamps on our tiny lanes. We have a torch, however it is one of those wind up ones that glows as opposed to actually shining light anywhere. It’s fine for getting up and down the stairs here at night to go out to our kitchen, but for a night walk, the prospect was less than exciting. Nearing six in the evening Daniel went downstairs to ask again if we could be dropped off somewhere on their way to dinner; this time Jan said yes.
I might mention that when we knew we were going into town I put on make up. Perhaps for some that is not an unusual happening, for me, in two months I have worn make up twice. After I had some on I thought I looked strange; different. I guess that’s the point, I just sort of forgot what my fancy self can look like. Going on day six without bathing obviously means my hair was up. There’s one thing about greasy hair girls, you don’t have to bother with mousse or gel. Daniel and I made sure we were both wearing an appropriate amount of green and we were good to go.
Jan gave us two pub options and Daniel chose the one in Bow. It’s called, “The White Hart” and we enjoyed it more than Tom Cobleys! We made our way past the pool table and pinball machine into the actual bar where low ceilings and a beautiful old fireplace greeted us. We looked at the menu and decided right away -of course- on cheesy chips. I never know which beer to choose because I’m not a huge beer drinker. So Daniel made his way to the bartender and said loudly, “If we’re from America, which local beer would you recommend?” There were about five other people in the room and they all looked up to stare at us. I felt a little like we were a zoo exhibit. The bartender gave us a sample of a brew called, “Bays” and it was mild enough for me. So I ordered a pint of that and Daniel got a Guinness. We took a table in the small adjoining room that also pronounced itself as a restaurant. There were only two older gentlemen having dinner; the rest was empty. We were seated next to the heater and that unequivocally pleased me.
When we had finished our chips and cold ones Daniel was still hungry [he eats a lot these days, a lot] and he ordered some garlic mushrooms and another pint to share. In the next room they were holding a trivia quiz. We couldn’t hear all the questions but we answered as many as we could and eventually began sharing our answers with the other two gentlemen in the room. One would come over and ask what we thought, especially if the question had to do with America. We were having a really nice time and eventually just began engaging in full on conversations with our dining room patron companions. We learned their names and ages, they are both retired and enjoying life as it comes. They bought another pint for us and I asked if they’d like to join us. It was ridiculous to be sitting so far apart trying to hear each other, yet I didn’t know if it was culturally acceptable to invite someone to your table. This is something I would not have hesitated about in the States. The men said yes though and asked that we come to their table instead. One of them said to me, “Unless you’ll be too cold.” I answered him, “Did you see me leaning on the heater all night?” He said, “Yes. First I thought you were drunk, then I realised you must just not be used to our temperature.” I assured him I would be alright without my heater.
We had a lively conversation about the places we are all from, and where we have been and still want to go. We talked about NLP and what we do for our careers; their history and experiences playing together in a brass band. They have been friends for almost thirty years and occasionally frequent The White Hart to catch up and have a good meal. There was a lot of laughter and finally a booming voice interrupted us calling, “Oh the Americans! Of course you made friends!” It was Jan, come to collect us. We introduced him to our table and we all visited for a few minutes while Jan helped me finish my pint. He would have joined us but Pat was waiting in the car so we exchanged information with our new friends and vowed to meet again. On the way home we shared our evening stories and laughed at the general lightness of the day that is St. Patrick’s.
The most interesting cultural difference that I find about British people is how reserved they are. At the same time, they will completely not hesitate to tease you. We’re frequently teased about our general “American-ness”, the foods we like to eat, the words we say, the gestures we make, our accents, our films [we didn’t make them!], it’s all in fun though and they can mostly take it when you tease back. As a rule they prefer it when you tease yourself for those reasons along with them. Simon told me when I was sharing with him about our time at The White Hart that Britons will eventually open up and enjoy the company of strangers; they just need a few beers first, hence all the pubs in this country.
Friday morning it rained. We tended to the animals, and then to ourselves before making our way back to our room so Daniel could do a little work before we went with Jan to the woodland. The Sweat Lodge needed to be prepared and we were there to help prepare it. The rain did stop as we worked outside and after an hour of covering the wooden dome with blankets and tarps the sun came out. It’s an amazing thing to create something you know you will soon be a part of. Most creation is like that. Being nervous about the Sweat Lodge we both asked questions of Mike, who has participated in many lodges, and he answered patiently and honestly. Jan kept scaring us, telling us we would be writhing into the earth with pain trying to escape the heat. That evening we decided to go to bed early to have lots of rest before the big Solstice day. Neither of us found it easy to sleep.
The following morning we woke up about six feeling still slightly apprehensive. Daniel did his daily morning yoga and I stayed in bed working some NLP magic on myself to relax and feel calm. Arriving at the woodland we watched Jan light a fire and began slowly meeting the individuals who would be a part of our first Lodge experience. It began by Jan taking a small group of us into the woodland to do some cleaning and clearing as appreciation to the earth. This was not new work for me and Daniel and not only was I not wearing my wellies, I was also not wearing my woodland clothes. As Daniel stacked my arms full with plastic and wood covered in mud, leaves, and spiders, I noticed I was a tad cranky. I just wanted to go into the tent and get warm! Then as I walked I reminded yours truly silently of the intention I had set for myself that morning: to embrace all the present moment had to offer. Soon I entered a working rhythm and stopped caring about my freezing fingers and dirty clothes. After an hour of that Jan returned to give us a guided tour of some of the woods. We saw a holly tree orchard that is over three hundred years old. It’s been untouched and it is beautiful. We finally met the Grandfather tree that is roughly two hundred and eighty years old. In this woodland eight hundred year old oak trees are “a dime a dozen” according to Jan. So an oak that is almost three hundred years old is something special.
Back at the cabin we all gathered around the fire pit to introduce ourselves and share something that was present for us. I let them know that I was nervous, and also deeply thankful to be welcomed into a very sacred tradition. My recount of the Sweat Lodge is going to be vague on this blog. I have been profoundly grateful to have been part of something so old that it was happening before any of us even knew certain parts of this world existed, and because of that I am only going to share a few things from my own experience and respect my new friends who were a part of our mystical day.
We shared lunch and then stories with each other while we digested our yummy food. Everyone there made me feel so much more comfortable about being inside the lodge. They let me know they were all there for me and if I needed something during the ceremony that anytime was the right time to let them know. As the time got closer I actually found myself excited about getting in there for some hot transformation. I was constantly surprised at all the rituals that take place before you sweat and all the care that is taken with really opening yourself and your energy to all that is this universe. It was a thirteen hour day, including meals, and we spent five hours in the Sweat Lodge.
Now, the truth is I am a “woo woo” kind of person, because it serves me to be this way and I make choices that keep me happy. There is, as you know, also a part of myself that is a little bit girly. I would even go as far as saying I can be a prissy kind of lady at times. So at the end of our long extraordinary day, we found ourselves in our bedroom covered in mud and unable to take a bath. As I’ve mentioned it takes two hours to warm the water after you turn on the heater. So we scrubbed up at our sink with freezing water and a washcloth. Daniel washed my feet because he is so kind and because, “I’m so gross I can’t even look at it!” Also I couldn’t have icy cold water on my legs by my own hand. I mean, physically, I was having a hard time. As Daniel thread the washcloth through my toes I thought, “I really am a little bit spoilt sometimes.” And as if he heard my thought, Daniel looked up at me, smiled and giggled. We went directly to bed so our brains could process in REM sleep our newest adventure.
After nine days [NINE DAYS!!] and a whole heap of sweat and mud later, we had our bath this morning. When I was finished I thought, “And now I want a shower.” We have some gardening to do this afternoon with Jan. I planted some lettuce a few weeks ago in the conservatory and we’re going to transport them to the greenhouse. We are also going to plant potatoes and beans. It’s very sunny and warm outside today and we’re hoping to go into Yeoford where there is a festival happening. Mostly it’s a beer fest, and mostly we want to go because a couple of the people we met yesterday will be there and invited us. One is a woman and I’ve been in desperate need of a tangible girlfriend!
Ha! Jan is in our room at this very moment. He is telling us that he is about three quarters finished with the work he’s doing presently on Open Intelligence and asked how we felt about gardening today. He says the Sweat Lodge can really take it out of you. It’s true; I’ve wanted a nap all morning. I told him if he’s feeling inspired about what he’s writing then he can continue and that I feel open about whatever his preference is. Then Daniel said, “I’m quite happy doing just what I’m doing.” So Jan said, “So what you’re saying is that you don’t have a strong desire to move and shovel compost?” We all laughed and decided that we’re going to plant the garden tomorrow.
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